by Guest blogger Linda Mhlanga
What has been my love walk with my Creator ?
After all these years of being in a relationship with the Almighty do I love him more now?
After deliberate and careful thought on this I came to the realisation that I have fallen out of love with God. My feelings are not the same anymore. I no longer see Him in the same light as I used to. For me, being in love with God has not been without its challenges.
I have felt like the side chick many a time! Our relationship has seemed one sided. I wanted the relationship to be on my own terms. I wanted God to love me the way I wanted to be loved. When that didn’t happen our relationship became strained. ,I tried all the relationship tricks that one can employ in an attempt to stay in love but to no avail. Those feelings were gone .
trying to love God as I would love a mortal of flesh and blood !
I may no longer be in love with God but I have something deeper. I now have reverential fear (respect) for God. My whimsical feelings and emotions are no longer a driving force in how I relate with God.
I acknowledge who he is and what he is in my life ; the God of the Universe, the Almighty God, Lord of Lords, my Father. I have finally wisened up to sovereignty of God. I am in deep respect and reverence . With reverential fear I am beginning to know that I know God.
There is no doubt.
There is no insecurity.
I don’t feel I have to do certain things to receive and keep his attention or his favour or grace. I am confident about who he is and who I am to him. I trust him wholeheartedly with my everything and when I pray I know that God will answer in his own way,and at his own time and I am okay with that. I am surrendered. Having reverential fear of God has brought such freedom to life. Fear does not rule anymore because I know that he is with me. Even in the midst of tough times.
Even though the troubles of this world try to sink me at every turn but the power of the Sovereign God gives me comfort. I know that God will never leave me nor forsake me. Falling out of love with God has been the best thing that could happen to me.